I should have been so happy. This was our dream. Not only had God seen fit for us to have a child, He blessed us with two. I should have been beaming. I was wretched.

I had never felt so sick in all my life. That is saying a lot, because God in his divine Providence not only saw fit to give me two babies, He also saw fit to allow me to be born with a variety of extremely rare ailments. I was born a geneticists dream, with a variety of anomalies. Those problems have led me to the hospital on various occasions. I knew my way around IV's, central lines, and countless other procedures. This pregnancy, however, took the cake.

I was also uncomfortable. I had never known my body in a pregnant state and it wasn't pretty. I was huge. Carrying two babies at the same time is just not what we are designed to do. My respect for women that carry higher order multiplies grew overnight, in synch with my ever expanding waistline.

I was in and out of the hospital. I had fluid around my heart, severe chest pain, and my legs were so swollen I looked like a baby elephant. My dear husband went out and bought me a size 10 slipper, I normally wear a size 7, and I still could not get it on my feet. It was awful.

Friends came a prayed with me. One dear friend drove down and gave me a manicure and a pedicure. It was one of the nicest things anyone had done for me in a long time. I did not care that I could not see my toes, I knew they looked pretty. I would take long hot showers and pray the end would come. Little did I know how those prayers were about to be answered.

We knew we were having boys. Scott and I toyed around with names until we realized the only way we would ever agree is by each naming one. We had some veto power, if one of us chose a name like Rufus, for example. I named Aaron Paul and Scott named Connor James. We had a baby shower, filled a closet up with diapers, set up the nursery, and waited for the day we would hold our two tiny little boys in our arms.

Joel was struggling. Life was not easy on our little guy. Scott took every Thursday off to take him to therapy and be with him at home. I was put on bedrest at 21 weeks, which meant I could not care for him anymore. We had great friends that pitched in to help. My sister took him two days a week. Our church family rallied around us and supported us. We do not know how we could have made it through without them.

We tried to explain to Joel that he was going to have two brothers. It seemed a bit odd to him and he wasn't quite sure what to think. We told him Mommy had two babies in her tummy and he was going to be a big brother. He was going to be two and a half when they were born, so I knew I would most likely find myself with a jealous toddler. His poor world was turned upside down, and Mommy wasn't even around to make it all better.

I was in and out of the hospital. My wonderful doctor realized she was not comfortable with my care so she sent me to a high risk practice. I had to go down weekly for ultrasound and visits, if I wasn't already admitted. The day after Halloween the pain in my chest was so severe, I was taken by ambulance all the way to the high risk doctors in their beautiful hospital. I stayed for 3 weeks.

I was back and forth and finally discharged the day before Thanksgiving. I knew something was wrong but the doctors said I could go home. I had a low grade fever and continued to have contractions. They said the contractions were normal with a twin pregnancy and to call if it got worse. We lived about an hour from the hospital, and I knew Scott was getting very tired of the drive. I was also tired of staring at the same four walls day after day, and agreed to go home.

My Mother in Law was visiting from New York when I walked in the door. I felt weak and dizzy. I lay on the couch feeling and watching my swollen belly harden with contractions. I wasn't in any pain, but I felt very sick. Scott told me to go on to bed, I would feel better in the morning. As I walked up the steps, I thought I was going to faint. I held on the handrail and slowly crept up the stairs. As I put my head down I had a strong suspicioun that something was terribly wrong.

At 2:00am I woke up and was feverish. I was burning up and I didn't know what to do. I did not want to disturb Scott, so I made my way downstairs and found a thermometer. I took my temperature, stared and the numbers in disbelief and tried to take it again. Once again the readout was the same. 104.3 I panicked and called my doctors. Things were not looking good.