After finding out I was going to be a Mother, I did the first thing mothers do. I shopped. I stepped out of the car, dried my tears, and walked happily into Old Navy. I had never looked at the children's section, since it had never been an option. I felt like a giddy school girl as I thumbed through the faded jeans and tank tops that looked more like clothes for a twelve year old Brittany Spears wanna-be than a beautiful newborn baby. I bought a green onesie and a pair of jean overalls. I smiled the whole way home.

When I got home, I waited for Scott to walk in the door. I didn't know who to call, since I was still scared the whole deal would fall through. I called my Mom and Dad, who were thrilled. They were very excited about adding a new grandchild to their brood. I called my sister, who is also my best friend. She was excited and wanted to come right over and celebrate. I asked her to wait, we could celebrate when the baby came home. I was still nervous.

When Scott got home, we cried and laughed. We couldn't believe it had finally happened. We were going to have a baby! We were going to be parents and God had given us a perfect, healthy baby boy. We made calls, wrote out lists and went shopping.

It was decided we would meet Danielle at the agency the following night. The baby, named Angel, was currently in a loving home waiting for his forever family. The agency has wonderful volunteer families that take in children and love them as their own until their placement is complete. Danielle hadn't seen Angel since she had placed him in their care 2 weeks prior. The agency brings all the parties together, birthmother, foster parents and adoptive parents. Danielle got their early to spend time with Angel and sign over her parental rights. We arrived, were lead to an office and went through tons of paperwork. We had spent all day trying to come up with a name. We were finally able to write it down. Joel Thomas. "God is Willing"

After filling out the paperwork, we walked down the hallway ready to meet our son. We had never seen him and we had no idea what to expect. We hadn't even seen a picture. We also knew Danielle wanted to be there when we saw him, so we were both nervous. As our caseworker opened the door, we saw him for the first time. Cradled in Danielle's arms was this small and absolutely perfect little boy. He was dressed in a little blue and white sleeper and he had a mop of black hair. He was sleeping peacefully, oblivious of the emotions running wild in the room.

I sat down next to Danielle, giving her the time she needed. We had an open adoption agreement, so she knew she would see him again soon. Yet she was in pain. Though she didn't shed a tear, I could see her loss in her eyes. She knew she would never be Joel's Mom. She was going to miss his first smile, step, jump. She wouldn't be there when he took his first ride on his bike. She wouldn't hold his hand as he walked into Kindergarten for first time. She was giving us these gifts. She was giving part of herself to us. She loved Joel more than anything in the world, and she wanted what was best for him. She was giving him to us. There is nothing more humbling in the world.

When she was ready, she held him out to me. "Here is your baby." She said. Tears welled up in my eyes. "He is beautiful." As I held him in my arms I knew right away that he was born to be my son. My love for him was instantaneous. I handed him over to Scott, who couldn't believe he had a son. He held him gingerly, cradling his head and kissing him on the nose.

After exchanging hugs, gifts and taking countless pictures, it was time to go. Danielle and her mom left with their caseworker, who was then going to spend some time with them at home counseling them and their family. We stood in the middle of the room with our caseworker, wondering what was going to happen next. She looked at us and said, "Is your car parked out front or in the back?" "What? It's time to go?" I asked. That was it. We were done. We had our son. It was time to head home. We were a family. Life was about to get a crazier, busier, and full of life.